New Games |
- Pokkén strikes Japanese arcades this summer
- What old Atari games do you want to see rebooted?
- A sci-fi submarine rogulike? Neptune, Have Mercy!
- January NPD: PS4 back at No. 1
- How historically accurate is Skyrim? Part 4
- We might find out more about Steam machines in the very near future
- I might actually drink canned coffee if it had Mario characters on top of it
- Civ IV lead designer's Offworld Trading Company hits Early Access
- Shulk amiibo pre-orders are open for a second wave at GameStop
- Amazon Fire TV gets Sling TV today, also Telltale's Game of Thrones
- Upcoming Driveclub car will peel your face off
- Ubisoft had a good quarter despite mediocre showing from Assassin's Creeds
- Hug a pigeon with this Hatoful Boyfriend body pillow
- Dan Marshall's The Swindle coming to 'all major consoles'
- Yep, Rodea: The Sky Soldier still looks beautiful
- Housemarque is making a game with Robotron designer Eugene Jarvis
- XSEED harvests Story of Seasons on March 31
- Disgaea 5's Usalia is adorable, deadly, and rides a Prinny
- XSEED brings Lord of Magna west this spring
- Retro City Rampage's New 3DS update is out in Europe
- Broforce fulfills my dream of fighting aliens as Kurt Russell
- Xenoblade Chronicles X's character creator is glorious
- This $300 Sonic the Hedgehog statue looks amazing
- Nintendo Download: The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D
- This 2015 D.I.C.E. Summit talk explains the entire history of Call of Duty's zombie mode
- D-Arts' Mega Man Zero Type 2 figure is getting re-released
- Nintendo: Next wave of amiibo to be eBay exclusive
- Get a load of this Final Fantasy Type-0 HD footage and PSP comparison
- Square Enix trademarks Lara Croft: Relic Run in Europe
- Review: Total War: Attila
- Layoffs hit former Sony studio barely a week after sale
- Looks like PlayStation 4 owners search for more BDSM porn than the Xbox One crowd
- Starr Mazer adds Transformers composer Vince DiCola, high profile crossovers
| Pokkén strikes Japanese arcades this summer Posted: 12 Feb 2015 01:35 PM PST Pokkén Tournament launches in arcades across Japan this summer, Bandai Namco revealed today at the Japan Amusement Expo in Chiba. The studio is showcasing the fighter this weekend at the event, giving attendees another opportunity to try the game ahead of its commercial release. 『ポッ拳 POKKEN TOURNAMENT』は2015年夏稼働に【JAEPO 2015】 [Famitsu] |
| What old Atari games do you want to see rebooted? Posted: 12 Feb 2015 12:30 PM PST Asteroids is back. Well, sort of. Atari (or whatever company is calling itself Atari these days) is reviving the classic 1979 shooter as an open-world survival MMO for some reason. Money, probably. Also a complete and utter lack of shame. But mostly the money. This isn't exactly new behavior for the, uh, entity. Atari has exploited its extensive catalogue for years, most recently with reboots of Haunted House and Alone in the Dark. It's going to happen again, you know. Some other beloved property is going to be milked for all it's worth and warped into an amalgamation of buzzwords and fads du jour. The smart money is on a free-to-play Centipede MOBA with roguelike elements. But what if it was something good? |
| A sci-fi submarine rogulike? Neptune, Have Mercy! Posted: 12 Feb 2015 11:00 AM PST Neptune, Have Mercy has a lot going for it. This is an "action exploration roguelike" set not in a fantasy world full of dungeons, but underwater on Neptune's largest moon. Players control a customizable submarine with a claw arm and plenty of firepower to take on alien creatures. And, my goodness, what a sensational aesthetic. The developers describe the Kickstarter project as a blend of things I adore -- "games like Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, and FTL : Faster Than Light, and films like John Carpenter's The Thing and James Cameron's The Abyss." All that and it also has creature scanning. Hell yes. I'm wrapping up a full-completion run of Metroid Prime, and let me tell you: scanning is so on my mind right now. The Kickstarter for Neptune is more than a third of the way to reaching its modest funding goal with 19 days left. Neptune, Have Mercy [Kickstarter] |
| January NPD: PS4 back at No. 1 Posted: 12 Feb 2015 10:30 AM PST After being knocked off the top spot as the best-selling console for the past two months, Sony's PS4 regained the much-coveted sales marker for the month of January. Not only is it back at No. 1, but it also continues its overall lead in the U.S. The Xbox One fell back to the second spot, despite the momentum gained the previous two months from price cuts. As for the Wii U, eh, they sold some to someone, I'm sure. Since its November 2013 launch, the PS4 has sold 18.5 million units and 81.8 million software units to consumers worldwide. On the software side, Dying Light was the best-selling game for January with the PS4 version leading the way. Here's a breakdown of January's software sales: |
| How historically accurate is Skyrim? Part 4 Posted: 12 Feb 2015 10:00 AM PST There's lots of things I enjoy about over-analyzing Skyrim, and the responses I get are a big part of that. There are a pleasingly small number of people that misread the title and my intentions ("Oh sure, the game with dragons is veeery accurate…"), and a fantastic number of readers willing to add their own knowledge and join the discussion. Sometimes, one of you lovely people will step in and flesh out something I have mentioned or correct a minor mistake, which is awesome to see. Learning should be a two-way exercise after all. And there's still a lot of untapped History within The Elder Scrolls. |
| We might find out more about Steam machines in the very near future Posted: 12 Feb 2015 09:30 AM PST Valve isn't communicating its plans for its fabled Steam machines all that well. Who could forget CES 2014's anticipated event that basically resulted in Gabe Newell pointing to a list of names and then leaving? We've known about these things for years, but it seems like there's still so much to learn. Hopefully that'll change soon. Valve sent out an email to us asking if we'd "like to set a time to see the latest Steam machine devices" at GDC. At least they haven't been put on the back-burner. But, we'll have to wait until early March to see if Valve feels like sharing a time-table and more about its plans for these elusive rigs. |
| I might actually drink canned coffee if it had Mario characters on top of it Posted: 12 Feb 2015 09:00 AM PST I've only had canned coffee a few times in my life, notably during big industry trade shows when I needed a quick boost of energy. The experience...wasn't great. But I'd probably enjoy it more if Mario characters were adorned at the top of the can. That's just what company DyDo is doing in Japan, as it's reached an agreement with Nintendo to feature 8-bit NES characters on their drinks. I have a friend who collects canned drinks and he's going to love this. あの「スーパーマリオブラザーズ」の [DyoDo] |
| Civ IV lead designer's Offworld Trading Company hits Early Access Posted: 12 Feb 2015 08:30 AM PST Mohawk Games, formed by Civilization IV lead designer Soren Johnson, released its first title on Steam Early Access today. Offworld Trading Company is a real-time strategy game that focuses on economic might as opposed to giant armies and combat. It takes place in a future in which the Earth has been drained of resources and corporations have staked claim on the most resource-rich areas of the asteroid belt. As a pioneer, you'll be heading to Mars, the last place that hasn't been claimed or picked clean. The foundation of the game is the real-time market which you'll have to monitor to sell your goods at a profit and buy the things to keep your colony alive. Your goal, through hard work and a little help from hackers and pirates, is to dominate the Martian economy. The Early Access version ($35.99) has a good deal of features already. You can access multiplayer and play head-to-head or free-for-all matches. The dynamic campaign is available, which will react accordingly to your actions giving a different outcome every game. The "advanced A.I." is also implemented, and it promises to be a formidable foe. It's like an advanced version of Gazillionaire. |
| Shulk amiibo pre-orders are open for a second wave at GameStop Posted: 12 Feb 2015 08:22 AM PST The Shulk amiibo, a highly sought-after GameStop exclusive, might not be quite as rare as originally thought. This afternoon, GameStop opened a second wave of pre-orders for the Xenoblade character. It's expected to ship on May 1. The only downside is that ordering online doesn't appear to be a viable option. (It pops up randomly for one or two minutes at a time before being sold out again.) What's required is going into a GameStop store and placing an order to be shipped to you. Employees are instructed not to take orders over the phone because it'd require relaying payment information without proof of identification. I recommend calling ahead to make sure that the employee working can confirm this method, and that there are still pre-orders to sell. The first store I called told me they weren't available (even though it was wrong); the second one told me to come over. Twenty minutes later, I exchanged money for promise of a Shulk in early May. Anyone that missed out on this rare amiibo the first time around would be wise to pick it up now. Considering the rumors that GameStop may either sell these "used" in the future at a premium, or reserve stock to package with the New 3DS Xenoblade Chronicles, snagging it for the suggested retail price looks like a steal. [Update: If you're lucky, this link might work for online ordering.] |
| Amazon Fire TV gets Sling TV today, also Telltale's Game of Thrones Posted: 12 Feb 2015 08:00 AM PST This is an "Amazon Download" update of sorts, as the publisher has just sent word that Sling TV has launched for the Fire TV and Fire Stick. New apps have also been added, including Telltale's Game of Thrones series, which is perfectly suited to the platform since you don't really need any complicated inputs. Amazon also announced that Luftrausers, Always Sometimes Monsters, and OlliOlli are out on the Fire platform, which are some heavy-hitting indies. All in all I'm not completely loving the Fire TV as a gaming platform, but I use it for videos every day and enjoy it more than the Roku 3. |
| Upcoming Driveclub car will peel your face off Posted: 12 Feb 2015 07:45 AM PST To tease one of the upcoming cars arriving for Driveclub this month, the developers decided to give us a sneak peak via a video showing off the terrifying speed the unnamed four-wheeled machine can do -- at least 242 mph. You got what it takes to hit that kind of speed and not end up a stain on the road? We'll have to see in the coming weeks.
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| Ubisoft had a good quarter despite mediocre showing from Assassin's Creeds Posted: 12 Feb 2015 07:30 AM PST Ubisoft didn't have a disappointing holiday season, as it posted financial reports today indicating that the publisher exceeded its quarterly sales expectations by approximately €80 million. More surprising, it did so without a year-over-year increase in performance from its flagship franchise. Accompanying the broad financial figures were sales reports (units shipped) of individual games. Assassin's Creed Unity and Assassin's Creed Rogue sold a combined ten million copies -- almost the exact same number that Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag moved in 2013. Undoubtedly, the fragmented user base between current and legacy consoles played a major factor. Even though Assassin's Creed's performance wasn't spectacular, Far Cry 4's was. It sold seven million copies despite being pegged for six million. Just Dance moved four million units. The Crew brought up the back of the pack with two million sales, which Ubisoft called "very good." Those cumulative numbers led to an increase in year-over-year sales for Ubisoft. The €809.7 million quarter represented a 55.8 percent positive change over 2013. Additionally, the publisher recorded an increase in market share over its figures at the same time in 2013 -- 12.8 percent compared to 9.6 percent. However, things won't stay prosperous for long. Ubisoft anticipates a soft fourth quarter, especially when compared to last year which was anchored by South Park: The Stick of Truth. The publisher has Assassin's Creed Rogue releasing on PC, Grow Home, and a handful of mobile games in its arsenal for the quarter. Regardless, Ubisoft has still raised its expected end-of-year financials by €40 million. |
| Hug a pigeon with this Hatoful Boyfriend body pillow Posted: 12 Feb 2015 07:15 AM PST You can buy a Hatoful Boyfriend dakimakura cover over at Humble Bundle right now. Yes, really. It's all part of a Valentine's Day promotion, which features the pigeon dating sim plus a smattering of other visual novels, including the likes of World End Economica and Analogue: A Hate Story. That danged pillowcase, though. That's a real thing you can buy. Is your body ready? Weekly Bundle [Humble Bundle] |
| Dan Marshall's The Swindle coming to 'all major consoles' Posted: 12 Feb 2015 07:00 AM PST Size Five Games is bringing its gorgeous steampunk cybercrime caper The Swindle to consoles alongside the previously announced Steam release sometime around summer 2015. Planned systems include Wii U, PS3, PS4, PS Vita, and Xbox One. Publisher Curve Digital will be handling console ports while the developer concentrates on finishing up the game for PC. This will be the first title from Size Five Games (formerly known as Zombie Cow Studios) ported to consoles. On the developer's blog, Dan Marshall says he feels "There's something very exciting about the idea of seeing The Swindle on consoles." I don't think he's going to be alone in this excitement; I'll definitely be picking this up for Wii U alongside the Steam release. The game is scheduled to launch on all platforms at once. Marshall states that "it was important to me that all the versions release at the same time on as many formats as we could muster" and that he's uncomfortable about any sort of exclusivity deals, saying, "it just seems kind of rotten and unfair to people who forked out their hard-earned cash on one black box over another." Out of all the consoles mentioned, it warms my heart to see the Wii U being included in that list. After the uphill battle the console faced in its first years on the market, it's nice to see it getting its fair share of quality third-party games. |
| Yep, Rodea: The Sky Soldier still looks beautiful Posted: 12 Feb 2015 06:30 AM PST If there's one videogame trope that I'm a sucker for, it's floating islands. It's part of the reason why I love Jumping Flash! 2 and Skies of Arcadia, and it's the same reason why I think Rodea: The Sky Soldier looks amazing. Set for the 3DS and Wii U at some point, this resurrected Wii project now has some extra footage to ogle at, and I'm really digging the giant boss fights and constant flight. It looks like you'll basically be able to fly the entire game without limitations, and the level of freedom is incredible. We have word from the publisher that we can expect news about a localization "soon." |
| Housemarque is making a game with Robotron designer Eugene Jarvis Posted: 12 Feb 2015 06:00 AM PST Designer Eugene Jarvis (Defender, Robotron: 2084, Smash TV, Cruis'n) and Housemarque (Super Stardust, Outland, Resogun) are collaborating on a game. Is this real life? It can't be! "When I saw Resogun I couldn't believe how these Housemarque guys took Defender to a new level," said Jarvis. "I wondered... what would happen if we teamed up? Mash up old school arcade with mad voxel tech and crazed nouveau Helsinki gamers... All I know now is that it is going to be explosive." There aren't specifics about the project yet -- details will drop in the coming months -- but I just had to share this collaboration. I'd be ecstatic if we got a Robotron or Smash-style game. Housemarque and Eugene Jarvis working together! [Housemarque] |
| XSEED harvests Story of Seasons on March 31 Posted: 12 Feb 2015 05:45 AM PST Story of Seasons takes root in North America on March 31, XSEED Games announced today. The Nintendo 3DS farming simulator is the latest entry in the Bokujo Monogatari series, which previously was localized under the name Harvest Moon. Despite the new moniker, Story of Seasons has everything one might expect of the franchise, plus some new elements like online multiplayer so you can raise crops with friends. |
| Disgaea 5's Usalia is adorable, deadly, and rides a Prinny Posted: 12 Feb 2015 05:30 AM PST Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance will be out next month in Japan and later this year internationally, so for now all we can do is look at footage and compare and contrast the newly minted cast to past additions. So far I'm actually enjoying the new characters, including Usalia, who rides a yellow Prinny at all times. Oh, and she's apparently a wererabbit. Amazing! |
| XSEED brings Lord of Magna west this spring Posted: 12 Feb 2015 05:15 AM PST A localization of Lord of Magna: Maiden Heaven is in the works, XSEED just confirmed. Expect the Nintendo 3DS strategy role-playing game to arrive on western shores sometime this spring. |
| Retro City Rampage's New 3DS update is out in Europe Posted: 12 Feb 2015 05:00 AM PST If you own Retro City Rampage DX on the 3DS, you should have an update ready for you now in Europe, and "soon" in North America. The delay for the latter is due to a Nintendo certification process that isn't quite complete yet. The update will improve performance by "unlocking" the power of the new CPU, which enhances screen effects, fast-forwarding, and turbo mode, in addition to C-Stick support. It's said to be on par with the console versions now with everything in tow. If you don't own a New 3Ds you'll still get some enhancements, including a more consistent framerate. Developer Brian Provinciano notes that he loves the 3DS as a platform, and would develop another game for it. Update, v1.2 - Native New Nintendo 3DS Support & More! [Retro City Rampage] |
| Broforce fulfills my dream of fighting aliens as Kurt Russell Posted: 12 Feb 2015 04:30 AM PST With Steven "I don't care for Aliens" Hansen out traveling for work, it's the perfect time to talk about today's free Alien Infestation update for Broforce. We knew to expect good things after seeing the explosive Bro Dredd gif, and this trailer confirms it: '80s action fans are in for a treat. "Considering that it's only two months late, we're decidedly improving at delivering content," said Free Lives' Evan Greenwood in a press release. Good, good. I'm holding off on playing Broforce as best I can until it's closer to being finished. Early Access and I don't get along too well. |
| Xenoblade Chronicles X's character creator is glorious Posted: 12 Feb 2015 04:00 AM PST If you're a fan of character creation mechanics, Xenoblade Chronicles X has you covered. This newest video direct from Nintendo will give you an idea of what you can craft, and I'm satisfied. You can make the hottest kid on the block or craft the oldest scariest looking man ever. It's pretty open-ended and I'm digging the art style. It's also great that you can choose between male and female avatars right off the bat. |
| This $300 Sonic the Hedgehog statue looks amazing Posted: 12 Feb 2015 03:30 AM PST First 4 Figures has released a ton of great-looking statues, and now it has moved on to another Sonic piece. Its newest creation involves Sonic, Tails, and the iconic Tornado plane -- a scene that retro gamers likely have burned in their memory. If you want it, you'll have to fork over $299.99, or $329.99 for the limited statue. It's quite the asking price, but all things equal it looks like a quality figure with tons of detail. Sonic "The Tornado" Diorama [First 4 Figures] |
| Nintendo Download: The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D Posted: 12 Feb 2015 03:00 AM PST I hope you aren't too excited for the Wii U eShop, because all it's getting is Blek, Breath of Fire, and Paparazzi. Ubisoft is still having that sale for a few more days. Yep, that's it. The 3DS has a killer week yet again though with Majora's Mask 3D, Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, and Ace Combat Assault Horizon Legacy+, all of which launch tomorrow. You'll also find Pong Pong Candy. It's arguably one of the biggest 3DS weeks yet, especially when you consider that the New 3DS is also out tomorrow. |
| This 2015 D.I.C.E. Summit talk explains the entire history of Call of Duty's zombie mode Posted: 12 Feb 2015 02:30 AM PST Call of Duty: World at War's zombie mode was an incredible addition to the industry. It was a fully featured mode that was actually included in the base package, and I played the first map for 100 hours, easy. I still play zombies to this day and haven't gotten tired of it. The presentation goes through the entire history of zombies mode, right from the very beginning, and how the entire concept was almost scrapped. It's interesting to see Treyarch at the forefront here, as I consider it to be the best developer in the franchise's history. |
| D-Arts' Mega Man Zero Type 2 figure is getting re-released Posted: 12 Feb 2015 02:00 AM PST D-Arts makes some of the best figures on the market, and its Mega Man line is particularly great. I love how they look with my collection, and they're the perfect balance between price and quality. If you missed out on the "Type 2" version of the Zero figure (with Z-saber and buster cannon parts), you can pre-order now at Big Bad Toy Store for $33.99, as the figure is getting a reprint in June. D-Arts Megaman Zero [Big Bad Toy Store] |
| Nintendo: Next wave of amiibo to be eBay exclusive Posted: 12 Feb 2015 01:30 AM PST Newsbrief: Nintendo has unveiled a new plan to curb soaring amiibo prices on the secondary market, inking an exclusive new partnership with eBay seller xXxNoScopeXxX. The move is designed to cut out predatory middlemen, like GameStop and Best Buy, making the chain of distribution as efficient as possible while passing savings on to customers. Sources familiar with the situation say the deal is part of a broader initiative to embrace new market trends while ignoring any and all consumer pressure to create a unified account system. |
| Get a load of this Final Fantasy Type-0 HD footage and PSP comparison Posted: 12 Feb 2015 01:00 AM PST I'm really glad Square Enix is localizing Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, now it's just time to see if it pays off in March. If you're on the fence this video might give you a bit more information as to what to expect, with PSP to PS4 comparisons, and a sample of gameplay and cutscenes. The developer has noted in the past the game will take roughly 40 hours to complete, or 100 if you do everything. For pre-orders, it will also ship with the Final Fantasy XV demo. |
| Square Enix trademarks Lara Croft: Relic Run in Europe Posted: 12 Feb 2015 12:00 AM PST According to this European trademark, Square Enix has registered the name Lara Croft: Relic Run. There's no platform or window set, so right now we're basically in the dark. "Relic Run?" That sounds an awful lot like Temple Run, one of the biggest endless runners out at the moment. It wouldn't surprise me if Square Enix is looking to bolster its other projects with microtransaction-laden mobile games, just like Sega. Lara Croft: Relic Run [OAMI -- Thanks, Jeff] |
| Posted: 11 Feb 2015 10:00 PM PST The horn sounds. Again and again. It's kind of annoying really, these vuvuzela m'fers blowing wind all through my dramatic victory on the fields north of Constantinopolis. Still, it does feel good. I am sacking the center of European civilization after all. I never liked those Romans anyway. Blow those horns, you barbarian bastards! |
| Layoffs hit former Sony studio barely a week after sale Posted: 11 Feb 2015 08:00 PM PST Last Monday, venerable MMO studio Sony Online Entertainment was sold to Columbus Nova investment firm as part of Sony's on going restructuring. Not even two weeks later, an unknown number of employees have reportedly been laid off, including EverQuest director David Georgeson and community manager Linda Carlson. This isn't odd behavior for Columbus Nova, which pulled the same stunt when it acquired Rhapsody in 2013. For investment firms, reducing overhead while maintaining profits is usually the first order of business, and that typically means layoffs are the first course of action. Daybreak released the following statement concerning the layoffs: “As part of a strategic decision to rationalize the business, Daybreak Game Company announced today that it will eliminate positions in both its San Diego and Austin studios. This alignment of resources better positions the newly independent studio for future growth opportunities and developments, including delivering on its legacy of making top online games and establishing a solid foundation for future multi-platform success. These reductions will not affect the operation of current games and the company will continue on its mission to partner with its player community to drive the future and push the boundaries of online gaming.” While all games under development before the sale seem to still be in production, who knows where Columbus Nova will look to trim costs next. While the firm may be able to increase revenue in the short-term with these brutal job-slashing tactics, I have doubt about any company that gets rid of experienced and proven employees so it can make its numbers look a little prettier on paper. It speaks of a lack of long-term investment and, for me, casts doubt on quality and support for its future products. H1Z1, EverQuest publisher Daybreak cuts jobs as it transitions to new owners [VentureBeat] |
| Looks like PlayStation 4 owners search for more BDSM porn than the Xbox One crowd Posted: 11 Feb 2015 06:00 PM PST Hey caller. My name's Brittany Vagnificent, and for only $2.99 per nanosecond, I'll tell you all about the ridiculous marketing nonsense behind the cinematic atrocity Fifty Shades of Grey and how it somehow relates to BDSM porn on video game consoles. According to SugarDVD (obviously NSFW) in a recent infographic (see below) that's only tangentially related to video games, it looks like PS4 users tend to search for BDSM porn on average 1.8 more times than Xbox users. SugarDVD's PS4 stats also show that out of said PS4 users, they're more likely to be female than Xbox users. So we can glean that those on PS4 are generally more kinky than Xbox owners, right? Similarly, the study found that people looking for porn on their Android devices tended to search for BDSM porn 1.2 times more than iOS users. That's probably because watching porn on the cheap sites via iOS is absolutely terrible, though it does tend to be ad-free if you go to the right places. You still want more, caller? You shouldn't be paying for porn in 2015 and BDSM isn't neckties and a mousy brunette saying "Oh crap" or "Holy crap" or "My inner goddess is samba-salsaing" to herself while some rich asshole buys her cars and computers. You know what real BDSM is? It's loving Nintendo when they hurt me so good with all this amiibo nonsense. Are you ready, caller? I've got a Meta Knight preordered. |
| Starr Mazer adds Transformers composer Vince DiCola, high profile crossovers Posted: 11 Feb 2015 04:00 PM PST Starr Mazer came out of the gate with an impressive roster of artists working on its soundtrack. Despite having a huge list of talent to pull from, developer Imagos Softworks has added another composer sure to pull on some nostalgia strings. Vince DiCola, composer of the 1986 Transformers movie soundtrack, has joined the team of contributors. Over the past couple weeks, Starr Mazer has also announced crossover projects with other high profile Kickstarter titles. The inclusion of Children of Morta, Hyper Light Drifter, and Shovel Knight has been known, but the video above collects the interactions together, along with the announced voice cast. Paradise Lost: First Contact has also announced a crossover, though it is not featured in the video. Below, a new trailer has been cut together, and it features the scene that made people interested in the point-and-click/shmup mashup in the first place. Yes, I want to jump off a ledge and have my remote-controlled spaceship catch me on the way down. |
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