New Games |
- TtWaV Teaser: Should Skyward Sword be rated M?
- Saints Row: the Third game show goes full length
- Warner Bros.' Seattle studio gives the gift of pink slips
- Dead Space: The Musical is brilliant but f*cked up
- This LEGO Store display features birds that are angry
- Chill out with this unplugged Castlevania medley
- Review: Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat
- Mortal Kombat Breakin': Electric Boogaloo
- Noise Channel: a new radio show dedicated to chiptunes
- Getting jiggy with Dance Central's Marathon Pack 01
- Get love drunk on the Black Eye Peas Experience next week
- Destructoid Meetup at Burning Man 2012 confirmed
- Trine 2 guys; it has a website
- Gearbox to honor late fan as an NPC in Borderlands 2
- The Daily Hotness: Super Expensive Modern Warfare 3
| TtWaV Teaser: Should Skyward Sword be rated M? Posted: 05 Nov 2011 01:00 PM PDT Nintendo has a track record for including gender ambigious or otherwise unconventional characters in their games. From what I've heard, there's been something of a culture clash over this between Nintendo of America and Nintendo of Japan. Rumor has it that part of the reason why Captain Rainbow, Freshly Picked Tingle Rosy Rupeeland, and Mother 3 were never brought to the USA was because of the gender-rebellious characters featured in both games; for fear that they would tarnish their family friendly image, and/or score a T or even an M rating. Maybe they had nothing to worry about, as Zelda: Skyward Sword features at least one character who is more sexually provocative and unconventional than the entire casts of Mother 3 and Captain Rainbow combined, and that got an E +10 rating. Do you think Nintendo is primed to suffer some backlash from that? Will Kathy Lee Gifford be upset to see her Zelda-loving children get sexy-tongue taunted by a purple skinned man wearing earrings, a skintight jumpsuit, and white eyeliner? What are your thoughts in general about gender non-normative characters in videogames? |
| Saints Row: the Third game show goes full length Posted: 05 Nov 2011 12:15 PM PDT This isn't the first we've seen of Tim and Eric's interpretation of Saint Row: the Third''s fictional mascot Professor Genki and his "Japanese" game show. There have been bits and pieces of this thing around for a while, but now, on the eve of the game's release, we have a full +12 minute episode of Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax. Like most of Tim and Eric's full length stuff, some aspects of the show appear to be intended as comedy, some as tragedy, and others are just gross. The show caused me to laugh out loud a few times, but also fell a general sense nausea couples with sadness over the state of today's dishonest advertising techniques, sadistic reality shows, and society's obsession with soulless celebrity icons. I hope the actual game comes equipped with the same brand of subversive parody. I guess we'll find out on the 15th! |
| Warner Bros.' Seattle studio gives the gift of pink slips Posted: 05 Nov 2011 11:15 AM PDT The ugly trend of development studios letting staff go continues today with word of Warner Brothers' Seattle Studio having to cut staff across a number of development teams. While no specific studios were named, the Seattle branch contains a number of well-known developers including Monolith Productions and Snowblind Studios. I can only hope that there aren't very many layoffs, and this doesn't lead to something worse. Its a shame that this happened at all, but I wish everyone there the best of luck. It should also be noted that part of the reason given for the layoffs was a changing market, so go buy more videogames. If anyone gives you guff, let them know you're doing it for the hardworking developers. |
| Dead Space: The Musical is brilliant but f*cked up Posted: 05 Nov 2011 10:00 AM PDT Random Encounters, the group behind the deliciously campy Sonic musical and other amazing performances, returns with another emotional game-themed melody. Isaac Clarke laments the loss of his beloved Nicole and... well... things get a little strange. Nicole: A Dead Space Song (Dead Space: The Musical) [YouTube] |
| This LEGO Store display features birds that are angry Posted: 05 Nov 2011 09:00 AM PDT For display at the Baybrook Mall LEGO Store in Friendswood, Texas, Tony Sava constructed a little diorama based on that one game that's been downloaded over half a billion times. Gee, I wonder if anybody who sees the display will pick up on the reference. LEGO Angry Birds [Flickr] |
| Chill out with this unplugged Castlevania medley Posted: 05 Nov 2011 08:00 AM PDT Recently, we brought to your attention Vampire Variations, a fan-made album celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Castlevania series. The album was released this Halloween, and I advise any and all vampire killers out there to go to the project's homepage and download it as soon as possible. One of the tracks is "Of Whips and Strings," a chill acoustic medley by the Super Guitar Bros. To accompany the song, the duo made the above music video that features Death and an assortment of candles, the beloved Castlevania staple. You also ought to check the other videos on their YouTube channel, which includes a Ninja Gaiden medley and an appropriately haunting cover of the Super Mario World castle theme. Castlevania - Medley [YouTube] (Thanks for the heads up, Ken!) |
| Review: Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat Posted: 05 Nov 2011 07:30 AM PDT While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat. Fortunately, Destructoid got its hands on what may be the biggest consumer product this holiday season. We took it for a test drive and are proud to reveal this exclusive review! If you're buying any other combination of sports club and external arousal implement, you're definitely getting shafted! Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat Whether your trusty old baseball bat is ready for retirement or your tired and clammy dildo needs replacing, Volition Inc. has you covered with the Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat. Built with durability and long-term use in mind, you'll be laughing at the savings whether you're smashing balls in the park with your son or smashing your vagina to pieces while watching The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1! Thanks to the smooth ergonomic design and carefully regulated coating of Polymer Rubber Substitute, the Saints Row Dildo Bat provides a level of comfort and flexibility hitherto unseen in any other baseball bat/artificial penis. I was impressed by just how good this feels to use. It's been intuitively designed so that even a novice can get to grips with it in seconds, featuring a very simple handle-based interface that should be familiar to most users. The handle itself has a particularly satisfying level of friction and comfort, thanks to the Scientific Flexi-Wrap applied to a rigid base of luxury wood. The contours improve grip ratio while the tactile-oriented neo matte finish keeps even the sweatiest of palms from slipping. Having a good handle on any baseball dick is paramount, as experts in the field will tell you 67% of the time. Unfortunately, most manufacturers focus only on the glamour portions of their devices and neglect this mundane-yet-crucial part of the experience. Volition went the extra mile on its piece and deserves applause in an industry that's far too quick to stampede toward the penis without taking care of the fundamentals. Make no mistake, however -- Volition has not skimped on the detail. Putting its legendary creative sensibilities to fantastic use with an artisan level of design. The testicles feature hand-crafted creases to create that "just-like-real-sac" feeling that consumers have come to demand over the years, with a central groove to neatly define each individual bollock. These medically accurate representations of authentic gonads will delight even the most discerning of fans, making this a perfect gift for those who believe that the devil is in the details. The elegant detailing continues up through the device's premium shaft, featuring a prominent central vein that many fans will recognize from seeing pictures of actual penises in their day-to-day lives. The entire package is complimented by a sleek and aerodynamic glans situated at the distal end of the corpora cavernosa. While it is unfortunate that a complimentary meatus has been excluded from the final product, the Dildo Bat nonetheless features a beautifully designed crown, shaped to please and providing a significant amount of heft in the finished article, so you can really hit those home runs! All told, it's given me a great amount of pleasure to be able to review the Dildo Bat for you. However, there are of course a few negative aspects that must be addressed. Firstly, the smell -- it stinks like Laffy Taffy. While this won't be a problem for customers exclusively utilizing the item as a sporting implement, those who wish to make full use of its features may feel put off by the overwhelming aroma of goof-themed boiled sugar in something they intend to place within one of several personal openings. The color is also a boner of contention. While I personally appreciate the purple tone, one does occasionally think of Grimace's throbbing plonker while studying it for too long. I don't need to tell you that overt sexual thoughts concerning a McDonald's villain-turned-mascot have been a bit of a controversial issue in North America -- especially lately -- and this could be a huge dealbreaker for some users. Despite these setbacks, the Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat is still one of the most flexible and worthwhile investments a family could make. Thanks to its versatile application at work and home, the Dildo Bat is a brilliant investment that finally puts an end to the need to replace ordinary baseball bats and sex toys -- often considered one of the greatest causes of financial strain in the West. In short, this is a highly recommended piece, and one that you should definitely pass up on. It should be available in Walmart, Target and Toys R Us in the near future, so keep a look out! |
| Mortal Kombat Breakin': Electric Boogaloo Posted: 05 Nov 2011 07:00 AM PDT Chris Pontius, did you clone yourself? And Liu Kang, you really let yourself go, didn't you? MORTAL KOMBAT FLASH DANCING [YouTube] |
| Noise Channel: a new radio show dedicated to chiptunes Posted: 05 Nov 2011 06:00 AM PDT We don't talk about the chip music scene much on Destructoid, but I don't think anyone would deny that the scene's roots dig back into the history of videogames. With all the retro revival titles we've been seeing of late it's no surprise then that many artists who've made it big in the chip music scene have been involved with a number of game soundtracks (Scott Pilgrim and the Bit.Trip series) and remix albums (Chiptuned Rockman and SQ Chips) over the years. |
| Getting jiggy with Dance Central's Marathon Pack 01 Posted: 05 Nov 2011 05:00 AM PDT Today is the last day the entire Dance Central DLC song catalogue is on sale so if you completely forgot about it, but still want that sweet DLC, you better get on it fast. The thing with these DLC songs is that even if you like or dislike a song, you never know if they are actually any fun to play. To help you out with that, Harmonix was kind enough to provide us with the Marathon Pack 01 (containing 14 songs) and here are some impressions of what you can expect of this song pack -- illustrated by some of the best YouTube has to offer! [These songs are ordered by difficulty, all songs were played on Hard using Dance Central 2. Impressions are based on how much you'll embarass yourself when playing it solo in full view of outsiders, workout potential, how well they fit party play, and most importantly how much damage to your living room a song will do when played drunk.] Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice (Difficulty: 1) Weapon of Choice is a short song with a somewhat wooden choreography. You're not going to feel like Christopher Walken in the music video, although the move-set fits the song well enough. The fan-favorite actor does dance all over the place in that music video, so admittedly it would've been hard to put all of that in Dance Central. While there are a lot of the same kind of moves that repeat themselves, they are plenty ridiculous which makes for a great party track. As long as you take care not to punch the person next to you, it's an upbeat and quick song to get people off the couch. Embarassment level: Medium
Girls & Boys has a lot of recycled moves from other songs, sadly, but it's an easy song -- even on Hard -- due to a lot of repetition in the move set. It's another short song so it's a good one to keep the party going without people taking forever. You're not likely to fall over playing this when you're drunk, which means you can safely put this somewhere near the bottom of a party playlist. Embarassment level: Low
The moves in Superfreak don't match the actual song that well, which is a bit of a shame. Of course it's a well-known song for a wide audience, so people will still enjoy playing it in a party setting. It does have a couple of moves that are a better suited to women, although not as much as some other songs. Pretty average overall despite being Rick James. Embarassment level: Low (if female), High (if Male)
Disturbia is a very popular and well-known song, so of course this makes for great party material for most people. It's a great song to dance to due to the high tempo, which makes it exceptionally good for workout purposes. You will need some good footwork stamina to keep up with the moves, though, so prepare to sweat a lot while mastering this one. The move-set is easy enough to make it one of those songs that are fun to gold star with some practice. Depending on how much you like Rihanna, you'll have fun with it at a party whether you're drunk or not. Of course as the night goes, people will probably distract you by singing along. Embarassment level: Low
Like most songs this is going to depend on how much you like the artist, but the moves make for a good average challenge. There's a good mix of fast and slow moves to give you a good allround workout throughout the song, although there are some more Fergie/girl moves thrown in the mix that will make you look ridiculous regardless of your gender. Some jump and kick moves make it less suitable for drunken play because someone is going to fall over or kick/punch a person in the face. Embarassment level: Medium/High
This is a great song for Dance Central even if it's not a very fast one. There are a lot of hiphop moves with plenty of top rock, footwork and arm swinging that makes it great for drunken parties. Because you don't move around that much, the risk of drunken play is pretty low and it will only help to make you look the good kind of ridiculous. The finishing stance can bring out your inner B-boy, which can look like anything from hilarious to super serious depending on whether you actually breakdance or not. Because of the wide variety of moves, it's also a good one to keep practicing on and to throw into a workout songlist. Embarassment level: Low
This is one of the worst songs I've ever heard! Personal preference aside, this is one of those songs made to show off their booty. The moves make it pretty challenging to learn and it's not too emasculating if you're a guy, but it's undeniably a song for the ladies. Most songs in Dance Central are relatively "unisex" with some typical guy and girl songs here and there, so you can count this under the girl section. That doesn't mean it can't be fun at a party, far from it, but you might make your crowd cringe thanks to the song itself. Embarassment level: Medium/High
Another hip hop song with a lot of top rock and footwork, and generally you can count this among the "guy" songs. You'll need a lot of space for all the wide poses and jumping around, which means you don't want anyone to play this too drunk unless you have a lot of space. All the footwork makes it a great workout song and it's relatively easy to learn. If you're a B-Boy you can use this to practice or to show off to less dance-inclined friends at a party. Embarassment level: Medium
Straight Up is a fun '80s song and a good song for a girls-only night at someone's house, if the girls remember the '80s. The move-set features some typical '80s moves and elegant arm sweeps that are very emasculating if you do them as a straight male in public. But be careful! You don't want to drink too much wine or too many cocktails because all the swinging around might make you fall on your face. Embarassment level: Very low/Very high (depending on whether you are the girl or guy in a relationship)
This is a boy toy song plain and simple. Do you want to show off your more sensitive side to the ladies or use your boy to show him off? Then by all means use this song and try to woe your love interest, or make your girlfriends jealous, if Ne-Yo makes them swoon. There are some more recycled moves in here and it could've used a little more slow dancing since the moves feel tailored to a faster song, but it does make for a good track to finish a workout routine and to stretch your arms and legs. Embarassment: Very High
Hollaback Girl is one of the harder songs in the Dance Central catalogue with a lot of technical dancing and a lot of moves. Lots of streetdance moves will help you practice if you're a B-Girl, but if you're a stiff-limbed dude this is going to be a nightmare to become good at. Which of course makes it all the more hilarious to put in a party playlist. Embarassment level: Medium (depending on your flexibility) Control is really varied and really hard, but its move-set is a cool mix of '80s Madonna and Janet Jackson dancing . You're going to spend a lot of time in Break It Down mode to become even moderately good at this one, but it's an ok song to dance to. A lot of different moves make it more of a challenge to keep you occupied than a song you can easily throw into a playlist for some casual dance action, but if you persist with the training you'll impress your friends quickly enough. Embarassment: Low
I Got You Dancing shares a bunch of moves with Benni Benassi - Satisfaction and a few other songs, which is lame. It's a hard song, but with practice it's one of the better songs for a good workout. It's not a very fun song overall and it's pretty repetitive, so you're best off only using this for solo play. Embarassment: Medium
Hmmmm, yeah. The best way to describe this song is "bootylicious" and it's a song for the ladies to drive that hunky guy wild in his pants. A lot of boob thrusts, hip swings, and acts of agility are required to five star this one. At a party you might steal the show and make that one guy notice you, but take care that some dicks won't just select it to see you bounce up and down for their own enjoyment. Embarassment: Low (if female), Very High (if male)
The Marathon Pack 01 offers some good allround tracks for 1400 Microsoft Points (100 MS points per song), which is great value compared to buying these songs seperately or in Dance Packs. It's going to depend on how much you like these songs of course, but if you host Dance Central at parties or just want some more songs, it's one of the better deals you can get. You might want to make a playlist that excludes a couple of these tracks if you expect a lot of drinking to happen, but overall you'll get a good mix of songs for different tastes. Depending on your needs, you might still be cheaper off with single songs or Dance Packs while they're on sale so just check those out over here. |
| Get love drunk on the Black Eye Peas Experience next week Posted: 05 Nov 2011 04:00 AM PDT The Black Eyed Peas and I go way back. A few years ago a friend and I waiting in a train station an hour outside of Paris. We were sat outside a café in the terminal, waiting for our delayed train to take us into the city. We had big plans for the day, but spent our morning listening to the French coffee house play "My Humps" on repeat for over an hour. Needless to say, the lyrics were burned into our brains for the remainder of the trip. We spent the afternoon at Euro Disney. Being winter, the park was virtually abandoned, leaving us to run around on the icy paths, screaming the lyrics at one another all day long. It must have been quite a sight, two white Americans singing about their curvy assets whilst being shot out of a Jules Verne-inspired cannon to the moon on a snowy day at the "Happiest Place on Earth." The dozen other people at the park and employees must have been quite amused. The French have only themselves to blame. Anyway, I guess there's this thing called The Black Eyed Peas Experience coming out next week for the Wii and Kinect. I'm sure you're all foaming at the mouth. November 8th can't come soon enough! Finally a new Wii game! But in the mean time... I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk. Get you love drunk off my hump. My lovely little lumps. |
| Destructoid Meetup at Burning Man 2012 confirmed Posted: 04 Nov 2011 07:07 PM PDT Let's do this. Tara Long will bring the drugs. (And by drugs she probably means Minecraft mobile) It's the end of the world, right? Might as well get into a robot costume and run around the desert. Just show up and you can borrow mine. Resources allowing, the plan is to build and live under Mr. Destructoid for a few days, and then set him on fire. I think the hippies will come at us with spears and torches if we set up a giant 100 foot projector wall for Street Fighter IV, but maybe they'll be cool with it if that was also on fire somehow. We've got plenty of time to figure out the logistics. Who's coming? |
| Trine 2 guys; it has a website Posted: 04 Nov 2011 06:00 PM PDT Trine 2, out next month, now has an official website filled with news, screenshots, artwork, videos and game information (there's even a link to pre-purchase the game on Steam, if you get it on the PC). The follow-up to 2009's Trine, will bring back the things that were great about the game -- like the beautiful levels and quirky characters -- while adding some new twists. The past few months have been pretty packed with incredible games, and I have high hopes that this will be another one. The $14.99 price tag doesn't hurt either, since inexpensive good games are always welcome. They also make great gifts. Good thing most of my friends enjoy awesome videogames. |
| Gearbox to honor late fan as an NPC in Borderlands 2 Posted: 04 Nov 2011 05:15 PM PDT This morning, we received an email from a Destructoid fan named Carlo who shared a story about his late friend Michael John Mamaril. Last month, Michael passed away due to cancer at the young age of 22. Both were huge Borderlands fans, so Carlo thought a great way to honor his buddy's memory would be to shoot Gearbox Software an email asking for a short eulogy to be read by the game's smart-mouthed robot mascot Claptrap. Not only did Gearbox comply with the request, it also promised to insert Michael into the upcoming Borderlands 2 as an NPC. This is, without a doubt, one of the most heartfelt and generous acts of fan appreciation ever. For Gearbox to extend such an honor demonstrates how serious the company is in forging meaningful relationships with the people who play its games. This certainly isn't the first time Gearbox has gone above and beyond, and I guarantee it won't be the last. You can listen to Claptrap's eulogy for Michael below. And thanks for sharing this touching story with us, Carlo. You have our deepest condolences. |
| The Daily Hotness: Super Expensive Modern Warfare 3 Posted: 04 Nov 2011 04:59 PM PDT Someone paid $1,725 for Modern Warfare 3... That statement is its own punchline. Modern Warfare 3 tugs at your heartstrings one more time, Nintendo patents a funky Wii add-on, developers fuel the console war, some of you did a fantastic job dressing up like wanna-be Batmen and Jokers, we preview Need for Speed: The Run, and more happened on 11/4/2011 Destructoid Original: News: |
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