Sunday, October 2, 2011

New Games

New Games


Some guy is Leon Kennedy in the next Resident Evil film

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 03:00 PM PDT

Some guy is Leon Kennedy in the next Resident Evil film screenshot

I don't know how, but Paul W. S. Anderson still gets to make Resident Evil movies. I'm not complaining too much, because I must admit that those films are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. Still, wow.

Anyway, series star Milla Jovovich recently confirmed on Twitter the identity of Leon Kennedy's actor in the upcoming Resident Evil: Retribution. Has anyone ever heard of Johann Urb? I haven't, but according to Wikipedia, his first film role was in Zoolander. Promising start to a promising career, no?

I guess he kinda looks like Leon, and I'm sure he'll do fine. Nevertheless, Brendan Fraser will always be Leon in my heart.

Milla Jovovich's feed [Twitter]

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Win $100 and meats in this Techno Kitten giveaway

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 02:30 PM PDT

Win $100 and meats in this Techno Kitten giveaway screenshot

[Update: Contest extended!]

YES! You read that right! The awesome people behind Techno Kitten Adventure want to give you money and delicious meat products. DELICIOUS! MEAT! PRODUCTS! Don't know what Techno Kitten Adventure is? It's a runner-style game where a cat flies through levels to crazy techno music. You can get the game on the Xbox Live Indie Channel for 240 MS Points and free on iPhone and iPad devices. The game has received multiple updates, with the latest being the "Meat Pack" add-on content.

We're picking three grand prize winners where each winner will receive:

  • AN ASSORTMENT OF MEATS!
  • $100 cold hard cash
  • Plastic Kitteh hand-molded custom-painted Techno Kitten Sculpture
  • Techno Kitten Adventure Tshirt
  • Stickers

To enter, we want you to submit a creative Techno Kitten Adventure "Meat Pack" inspired video over on the Techno Kitten Facebook page (make sure you Like the page!) There are no restrictions to what you do in the video, just remember it needs to related to Techno Kitten Adventure and meat in some way. We'll be looking for the best three submissions to give the prizes to.

Really, anything goes so long as it's safe for work. Some ideas I came up with include dancing with your pet cat to loud techno music or eating meat while raving to loud techno music. The entire concept is open to your interpretation. You get the idea!

Three second place winners will get a Plastic Kitteh sculpture, shirt and stickers. Three third place winners  will receive a shirt and stickers.

You have until October 9 at 11:59PM CDT to enter and contest is open to anyone with a US based address that the prizes can be shipped to. Good luck!

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Chinese pirates help Unity expand

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 02:00 PM PDT

Chinese pirates help Unity expand screenshot

I can't imagine ever seeing a general consensus when it comes to software piracy. Consumers, developers, publishers and the media all approach the situation from different angles and have different motivations and investments in the software. Unity Technologies, developers of the Unity game engine and editor, have added some more gray to the piracy canvass. John Goodale believes that China's culture of piracy allowed his company to make waves in the East.

I was an original DOS, Lotus 123 user. Then I heard of this thing called Excel, but I couldn't imagine going away from Lotus 123 -- it's what I knew. Then somebody gave me an illegal copy of Excel, and I loved it, and I've purchased it ever since... Piracy can be a way to seed a market. Nobody will ever fully conquer the piracy problem, but we can certainly turn it to our advantage, and I think that's what we've done in China.

Despite not being a big player in the Asian markets, the four cities with the most Unity sessions per month are Seoul, Beijing, Shanghai and Nei Hu. By getting this foothold Unity was able to secure $12 million in funding to expand their operations in Asia in July.

I'm always impressed when developers come across something that could be considered a major problem, yet turn it to their advantage. Major publishers like EA and Activision are more than happy to make their consumers' experiences less than satisfactory. They even attempt to cripple markets which allow less financially stable consumers to still experience their products, such as used games. By "going to war" with pirates they have made them even less likely to ever spend money on their new foes' products, while also harming their legitimate customers.

I think it's safe to say we'd all rather see companies innovate in the face of piracy, rather than just attacking consumers. I doubt we'll see that from larger developers or publishers, but we are already seeing it with indie titles. No Time To Explain even got a special pirate themed edition for pirates to enjoy. Pirates are still potential customers, but they probably won't change their habits if being an actual consumer means having to put up with DRM or multiplayer passes.

Piracy helped Unity's expansion into China [GamesIndustry.biz]

Hey! Those aren't the Ninja Turtles!

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 12:30 PM PDT

Hey! Those aren't the Ninja Turtles! screenshot

The game is called Ninja Turtles. The thumbnail is a picture of the Ninja Turtles. My friends, these are not the Ninja Turtles. Dear God.

Some clown must have had five minutes to kill and decided to play a big joke on iOS users. By ripping backgrounds from Contra, effects from Metal Slug, and possibly other game assets, then incorporating the world's sh*ttiest MS Paint art, this punk has duped a number of unsuspecting iThing users into dropping five bucks, thinking they were getting a game about those loveable, pizza-noshing amphibians. Who would do... just... no. Just no.

Worst part? This "game" has been available since August 18 and still hasn't been removed. Really great product evaluation there, Apple.

Ninja Turtles by Namphuong Star [iTunes]

Review: The Binding of Isaac

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 11:00 AM PDT

Review: The Binding of Isaac screenshot

If I weren't already so fond of game jams -- and rapid prototyping in general -- The Binding of Isaac likely would have pushed me into such fandom. It began life as a week-long project between Team Meat's Edmund McMillen and Florian Himsl, eventually growing to what it is now, a twisted roguelike centered around religious themes and classic gaming influences.

Given the unusual premise and genre itself, you might think that not everyone would be wholly receptive to this game. In my experience, though, people are coming in with an open mind and loving it. There are quite a few reasons why.

The Binding of Isaac (PC [Reviewed], Mac)
Developer: Edmund McMillen and Florian Himsl
Publisher: Edmund McMillen
Released: September 28, 2011
MSRP: $4.99

While The Binding of Isaac is indeed the story of a parent being asked to sacrifice their child in the name of faith, as the title would suggest, I don't see it offending players. There is a message about extremism in religion to take away, though it never really becomes preachy.

The setup is a good one, and it provides the necessary context for a lot of interesting elements found in Isaac. Having escaped to the basement to avoid his mother's wrath, you play a crying, naked boy who has to fight off monstrosities (some of which are relatives) with his tears.

Yeah, your starter weapon is projectile crying. So good.

The basement itself is split up into a bunch of single rooms, with much of the world design similar to that of The Legend of Zelda's dungeons. In fact, the game is broken up into multiple floors, each with an end boss to conquer before you can further descend. Between the bombs, treasure chests, and even keys, long-time gamers are going to feel right at home with Isaac's conventions.

Despite being a roguelike -- and as a result, having permanent death, randomization of items and levels, etc. -- this is very much an approachable game, even if it is at times immensely difficult. The mechanics are mostly straightfoward, and combat itself is familiar four-directional shooting.

The WASD keys are used for movement, with shooting assigned to either the arrow keys or your mouse. You are restricted to up/down/left/right firing, but enemies are balanced accordingly, and attacking from an angle can be done if you shoot while walking a certain way. The controls aren't as tight as I would've liked, but you get used to them eventually. Note: there is no native gamepad support.

Beyond your default attack, which can be upgraded through pick-ups to something other than tears, you can find one-time use items (pills and tarot cards), and you also have an equipment slot for items that recharge as you progress. Bombs, coins, keys, and hearts are also thrown into the mix.

The end result, thanks to randomization and a wide assortment of potential collectibles, means playing The Binding of Isaac won't grow old anytime soon. Having played for more than ten hours myself, I'm still coming across previously unseen items and enemies on a regular basis.

Perhaps one of the biggest selling points is the visual style. If you're at all familiar with Edmund's work prior to Super Meat Boy, you know what to expect. It's a wonderful blend of fleshy grossness and lighthearted, even sometimes cute, humor. (Disclaimer: I am totally into dark comedy.)

Going back to the items you can collect -- stuff like dog food, a wire coat hanger, and syringes -- they are actually visually represented by changes to your character's appearance. And since these stat upgrades stack, your character usually ends up looking pretty ridiculous.

Given the huge variety present in Isaac, not all playthroughs are going to be successful. This can be frustrating, but I feel like a reasonable amount of balance was reached given the variability. Even if you don't ultimately win, you're likely to come across enough new content to make the attempt worth doing; you lose your progress, but not your knowledge. That even goes for bosses, too -- there are around twenty in total, and almost all are satisfying to fight against.

Major props must also be given for the excellent soundtrack, which I personally adore. It's by Danny Baranowsky, who previously collaborated with McMillen on Super Meat Boy and has made a name for himself by contributing to other great independent games. Chilling, catchy, and very fitting.

The way in which content is accessed in Isaac is interesting. Beating the game unlocks additional levels, puts more items and bosses in the rotation, and probably something else I'm forgetting. Forgive me -- this stuff isn't exactly explained explicitly; it's a roguelike! All part of the fun.

There are also multiple playable characters and endings. For those wondering why there are individual Steam achievements for reaching the full conclusion nine separate times, there's a reason.

All told, The Binding of Isaac is a deceptively deep game. That it only costs $4.99 is nothing short of astounding. I don't see myself putting it down until I hit that magical 100% completion mark, which is hours and hours away at this point. This is one trip that I recommend to everyone open-minded enough to give it a chance.

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Find a Golden Buck for a shot at $50,000 from Activision

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 10:00 AM PDT

Find a Golden Buck for a shot at $50,000 from Activision screenshot

The Cabela's series has been going strong for many years now, creating such well-known titles as Cabela's Alaskan Adventure and Cabela's Outdoor Trivia Challenge. With the latest installment of its man vs. nature shooter, Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2012, Activision is giving hunters a chance to win $50,000 for playing their game from September 27 to October 25.

After registering the game with the code conveniently placed within each box, the player will have the opportunity to encounter the mystical "Golden Buck" throughout story mode. Once they find this strange creature of Activision myth and lore, they will then need to take a picture in front of their TV with said "Golden Buck" in all of its majestic glory. Players will then fill out an entry form and upload their picture, along with registration code to the Activision Hunts Facebook page.

This series seems to be getting better, at least in terms of visuals and gameplay, and this contest is an interesting little incentive for seasonal hunters. That being said, when was the last time you had to take a picture of yourself in front of your TV?

Flash game Megamash is a lovely stew of retro-gaming

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 09:00 AM PDT

Flash game Megamash is a lovely stew of retro-gaming screenshot

I'll be honest here, Flash games got me through high school. Without the constant presence of Newgrounds and Homestar Runner I very well may have failed before getting my hands on that diploma. That said, there's not a whole lot of variety in the sea of simple time wasters and imitations. That's what makes Nitrome's Megamash so exciting. 

Megamash takes 7 different retro-styled games and mixes them up into a series of 20 levels. The further you progress in the game, the more intermingled these game mechanics become. Starting from a Mario-esque platformer, you find yourself not-so-subtly dropped into a horizontal space shooter, a Tetris clone, and a few more. These mechanics meld and build off of one another to an impressive degree. Playing Tetris to build a set of stairs for the platforming sequence was pretty clever, albeit a bit simple. If you've got some time to kill, check out Megamash over here.

Late to Rise: Rise to Nightmare digital comic released

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 08:00 AM PDT

Late to Rise: Rise to Nightmare digital comic released screenshot

Almost a month after it's lukewarm release, Sega has just released a short comic based on the Kinect action-horror title Rise of Nightmares. Written by Al Ewing, who has worked on comics from the Judge Dredd series as well as the Hulk; and with artist Marc Olivent whose thick shadows and stylized inks give this comic a rough and grimy feel that plays well with the story.

The comic tells the tale of Roland Childs, a private detective on his last case, recounting the details of what happened. Throughout Rise of Nightmares, the player will be able to find these tapes that serve to inform the player about the area, as well as to get some introspection into the battle Roland is facing to keep his sanity. 

You can download a copy directly from SEGA here. I think this comic serves as a good, but short teaser for the game; it's art and story were generally interesting and I would liked to learn more about this world. Now, why Sega decided to release it now, as opposed to August, where it could have generated some interest in the title, is anybody's guess.

Review: Solatorobo: Red the Hunter

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 07:00 AM PDT

Review: Solatorobo: Red the Hunter screenshot

I wish Solatorobo was an animated film instead of a game. Once you cut away the mind-numbing crate puzzles, monotonous combat, and maddening fetch quests, there is still a heart and soul to Solatorobo that keeps you from utterly hating it. Instead, you just kind of feel bad for it. You feel bad that it's part of a medium it seems to barely understand instead of a wonderful anime film.

Porco Rosso's fantastical take on Europe and Cowboy Bebop's sky pirates are transparent influences on Solatorobo. Nevertheless, developer CyberConnect2 managed to build its own world that stands apart. Despite having a ten-year production cycle, Solatorobo is a rare case of an overproduced, underdeveloped game that is a treat to look at and an absolute chore to play.

Cuddle your furry, because things are about to get ugly.

Solatorobo: Red the Hunter (DS)
Developer: CyberConnect2
Publisher: Xseed Games
Released: September 27, 2011
MSRP: $34.99

In Solatorobo, you play as cunning dog Red flying around the world with his adopted sister Chocolat and his mech suit DAHAK. It looks similar to the mech suit from Tail Concerto, which Solatorobo is a spiritual successor to. You even get to see some of the characters from that buried PlayStation action-RPG. While Tail Concerto played like Mega Man Legends, Solatorobo feels more like a Zelda title. You know, without all the good stuff.

Red is a hunter, which pretty much means he's a badass in a world of useless peasants. As he travels town-to-town in his sweet airship, peasants come up to him and ask him to kill evil, giant cockroaches or whatever. Like a chump, he goes and does it. Red is nice like that. He's the classic spunky adventurer. Likable enough to stick with throughout the game's 15 or so hour story, but not memorable enough to stick with you once the game is over.

The combat is pretty binary -- you dodge or attack. To attack, you pummel an enemy until you can pick them up. Once they are in your robotic arms, you can throw them on the ground, then repeat up to three times for a maximum-damage combo. It's like spamming the "open door" button in God of War extended across an entire game, and it gets old pretty fast. It boggles my mind that CyberConnect2 takes more than 10 hours to introduce some new mechanics.

Eventually, you gain access to a new suit that grants you some different abilities. With it, you can swing enemies, pound them into the ground for splash damage, or go into Trance mode to shoot projectiles. It doesn't fix the problem of dumb A.I. and boring enemy design, but at least it's something. It's just strange that these features don't come into play earlier. It's as if the game knows how shallow it is and holds onto whatever tricks it has in desperation. "No... please wait! You see'll... uh, you can, like, swing people in about five hours! It's totally worth it, dude! Please, stick around and play me! Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay meeeeeeeeee!!!!!" 

After getting past the first three chapters, I felt insulted by Solatorobo's difficulty. I was dumbfounded that a developer would make a game this easy. Unless I'm mistaken, the box cover doesn't have infants on it. Does the game get harder? I had to know, so I did a quick Google search. It turns out I wasn't the only one wondering this -- European players had the same question months earlier, and they all received the same response of "Yeah, pretty much, I never died once." This is a problem.

A good game lets a player's skill progress alongside the narrative. Both the player's skill and the game's story should have an arc. A great game pairs them together so tightly that you can feel the protagonist's struggle. As you left Ravenholm in Half-Life 2, you could almost feel Gordon Freeman's exasperated gasps for air coming out of you. If I ever felt remotely challenged while playing Solatorobo, it most likely had more to do with the Indian food I ate the night before.

Solatorobo is a game about lifting things and throwing them. Okay, to be fair, sometimes you catch instead of lift, but this only happens on a rare occasion. It's practically mind-blowing when it does happen, because it usually follows an hour of mindlessly lifting crates and placing them on giant red buttons. Don't worry! If you are too stupid to figure that out, the characters will tell you. They will literally say, "This is a puzzle... this is what you have to do."

IT'S NOT A PUZZLE IF YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!

You progress through the game by taking on quests that lead you into mini-dungeons full of mini-bosses and mini-puzzles. All of which are done with such little effort and creativity that you can't help but groan in apathy at the start of each, despite how visually different they may be. Whether it's a mining cavern or a large ship in the sky, you'll still need to slowly climb down a ladder to flip a switch and beat the boss by throwing its projectiles back at it.

You'll occasionally come across some mini-games that are hit-and-miss. The fishing game is absolutely terrible. You have to press the A-button rapidly until it's over and it takes a lot longer than you'd like. However, the air-racing game is pretty great. You can even play it solo or with three friends, right from the main menu screen. 

Along with fighting enemies and picking up boxes, you'll also collect lots of stuff. It's not quite Donkey Kong 64 amounts of crap, but it will make the OCD-gamer happy in an exhausted/depressed way. You have pigs that unlock pieces of concept art (YES!), plates you can buy that give access to cutscenes (THANK GOD!), and pianos that give access to background tunes (*tears*). You also have P. Crystals -- you can tell these things are important because this is an RPG and they are called "crystals."

While you can level up by gaining experience points, you can also decrease the time it takes to lift an enemy and increase the throwing damage you deal by customizing your mech. No, this isn’t Armored Core -- The only thing you'll be changing is what Tetris-shaped blocks will make up your mech's interior. Each of these blocks give bonus points to your mobility, defense, attack, or hydraulics (lifting ability). You use P. Crystals to open up more space for placing blocks, which you buy at vendors in town. I never bothered optimizing my mech, because you can get by just fine without doing so -- the game really is that easy! I chose to devote all my space towards attack and hydraulics so I could get battles over faster. Now that's what I call strategy!

You are probably thinking, "Why are other critics giving Solatorobo such glowing reviews, then?" Don't worry, I've thought it over too. One thing I can't argue with is Solatorobo's lively, detailed world and graphics that manage to impress, despite being on a seven-year-old system. As gamers, we like to explore original worlds that feel believable and mysterious. It's something rare in the current age of military shooters and the diminishing popularity of big-budget JRPGs. I wish I could celebrate Solotorobo as a whole due to CyberConnect2's efforts in world-building, but to do that I would need to ignore the game itself.

It's telling that the Japanese collector's edition of Solatorobo came with a 94-page art book. This is a game that was in pre-production for seven years and in development for three. The decisions behind the story and backdrops were as thought-out as a Studio Ghibli film, which brings me back to my main point: Why make Solatorobo a videogame? Everything about the dungeons and combat feel like excuses to show off what CyberConnect2 and players really care about: The game's world.

Our trips to the different locales of Solatorobo are too brief to impact us. Each area feels like six-or-so gorgeous, connected backgrounds rather than a world you can believe in. The same can be said of the game's cast of characters and overall story as well. So as you can see, even this aspect CyberConnect2 couldn't get completely right.

There are so many distractions and interruptions in the narrative and action that Solatorobo never manages to build momentum. There is a pointless, chatty dialogue sequence at the end of every hallway and an abrupt change of scenery at the end of every chapter. As an animated film, Solatorobo could cull those ten years of production into a memorable adventure. Why settle for this shallow, repetitive interactive adaptation?

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Metroid Minimalistic shirt wants to latch onto you

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 06:00 AM PDT

Metroid Minimalistic shirt wants to latch onto you screenshot

Every Metroid needs a host to feed off of. As this is a minimalistic Metroid, it won't take too much of your energy away. Please, think of the Metroids. They need a good home.

Baltazar "Fluffy Pancakes" Rosiles created our latest addition to the Destructoid store and goes out to all you Metroid fans. The Minimalistic Metroid shirt is currently up for pre-order and will be shipping soon. You can grab one for $18.95.

For more shirts, check out Baltazar's other design (Two bears high-fiving) plus our other new designs like the Bison bison t-shirt and Four Bosses shirt.

 

Weekend video game wallpapers: Bugs on a train

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 05:45 AM PDT

Weekend video game wallpapers: Bugs on a train screenshot

This weekend our giant video game wallpaper archive expands with new releases like Dead Island, Street Fighter X Tekken, World of Warplanes, Resistance 3, and some cool fan art from others like PayDay.

Our massive archives also include sura's Wrath, Bastion, DrakenSang Online, Darksiders 2 (sick!), Magic The Gathering, World of Tanks, Infamous 2, Asphalt 3D, Hellbreed 2, Transformers, Hunted, and some classics like Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy X2, Heavenly Sword, Ninja Gaiden, and Street Fighter.  Our archives also include wallpapers from Uncharted 3, Dirt 3, Ridge Racer 3D, The Settlers Online, Homefront, Shogun 2, Lord of the Rings: War in the North, Might and Magic Heroes, Motorstorm Apocalypse, Armored Core, and Duke Nukem. Our archive also includes Operation Flashpoint, Test Drive Unlimited, Splinter Cell, Shogun 2, Magicka, Homefront, a few others. Enjoy!

Want more or to upload yours?  There's a Destructoid forum thread with high res video game wallpapers. Do it. A portion of this gallery was donated to us by the handsome people at Gamewallpapers.com, as well as some CG art by our friends at Flamy Frog Interactive. Hundreds more are available on their site, which also feature variants for dual-screen downloads.  Want some Destructoid-flavored ones?  Go steal them from Hamza.

Which one did you choose this week?

 

 

 

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Comments of the week: I've covered comments ya know

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 05:00 AM PDT

Comments of the week: I've covered comments ya know screenshot

It's not business as usual in this town.

Comments of the Week is a feature where we scour the front page, community blogs, forums, social media and the magazines you leave under your bed picking out comments. The ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and consolidate them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community. 

Comments will fall into three categories: 

TRUTH: Batman 

LOL: Batfink 

WUT? Scatman

[The comments were OUT OF CONTROL this week, so long blog is long. You have been warned.]



From Are dragons the new zombies? 




You may scoff now, but if they made Zombies Jaws, they would be lining up for miles to watch it. 



From Facebook 




You will be pleased to hear that comments of the week comes to you vry wek intirely issue-fr3é 





Previously on Full COG armor? Also, transgender Link pics. Also also, Spider-Man pics. 

Aaron Mxy Yost:
 

M47R1X:
 

M47R1X:
 

ZombiePlatypus:
 

Polite Gentleman:
 

M47R1X:
 

ZombiePlatypus:

ZombiePlatypus:

Panzadolphin56:

ZombiePlatypus:
 

And now, back to Full COG armor? Also, transgender Link pics. Also also, Spider-Man pics. 




You know, we still haven't found out if the full COG armor giveaway is legit but I'm sure the story will come full circle. 

Also, I'd make her Tingle. 



From Documentary mistakes videogames for real life 

















BREAKING: Shameless self-promoting whore places own comments into comments of the week article! Police release photo of this man: 

 

Please approach him with caution: There is no telling when his ego might explode! 



From How To Post a cBlog While Playing Resident Evil 4 HD 

 




Lenigod must have figured out I'm a huge Police Squad! fan. 



Clever girl... 




From Twitter 




I'm overwhelmed by evidence! 



From Podtoid is doing an all-questions episode today! 






We're an odd bunch, aren't we? 





From Google+ 




Google+ also does anti-social, as well as social media. Also, hands up who else liked the comic relief in the middle of the argument with Darby Krajicek? The man has installed a solid state drive straight to my heart. 

From There's a Puss In my Boot in my game 









Thank you! 



From Europe getting Batman: Arkham City Xbox 360 bundle 



May this be the first of many hilarious, trivial little fanboy pissing contests. Rock on, Jimmy and DNA. 

Speaking of mature, respectful discussion...oh wait, no I'm not! This week's troll roll is dedicated to DNA619. See if you can read through these comments and guess which format he is most fond of: 

From comments by  DNA619 

Re: ICO & Shadow of the Colossus Collection tops charts!

I knew the depressed, dimwitted 360 bithces like Jimmyx would be on here crying. I'm honestly not surprised that Gears Of Bore got knocked off the top of the charts, it sold 3 million in it's first week and it was utter crap. So, given the drop - off rate would probably be about 99% I can see why Gears has slid right down into the bargain bin already. 

Also, Jimmyx, you say that the best - selling PS3 games are remakes? Thank you for proving that 360 owners are the most uneductaed, gormless retards on the planet. The best - selling PS3 exclusive is GT5 with over 6.5 million sold, good luck getting your second - rate Gears Of Bore, Galo or Flopza to hit that mark. 

I wonder how many brainless idiots will buy Galo: Anniversary, a crappy port of a game that was even crappier when it first came out that shouldn't be worth the retail price of a pack of Fruit Pastilles, nevermind £30. 

Oh yeah and Jimmy...about those 3 million. Those are the ONLY 3 million games Microsoft has sold all year and the only reason such a crappy game like Gears Of Bore sold so well was because it was the only exclusive the console's had in 12 months. 360 owners were so starved for games at that point they'd buy any old garbage, regardless of how 8/10 it truly is. The PS3 beat 3 million in the first quarter of the year with LBP2 and Killzone 3, it's taken Microsoft and the crappy Gears Of Bore 10 months to do something the PS3 did in 3, still feel like a big man? What a retard. 

P.S. The reviews just came in, turns out the big - budget, waste - of - space, bad - graphics Gears Of Bore got the same review scores as a port of 2 games that are 7 years old. Maybe Microsoft should just give up, if their new games can't even beat PS2 ports in review scores...LOL, pathetic. ... view replies

Re: Grown man attacks boy over Call of Duty: Black Ops

I like how some idiots are trying to pass this off as an insult against England. If this guy was TRULY serious about getting revenge, wouldn't he have gone to the kids high school with a rifle and shot everyone? Isn't that how they resolve this type of thing in America? 

Anyway, while I can't condone a man picking a fight with a kid half his age I do agree that some of these assclowns that constantly run their mouths online deserve to have some respect beaten into them. It would have been funny if the kid was talking smack to anohter boy his age and then the boy beat the shit out of him at school, THAT would be reasonable. 

Also, not sure why some fangirl idiots are trying to blame the PS3. Especially since you constantly hear stories of rapists trying to get at children over Xbox LIVE. I guess they must just be bored with the entire lack of exclusive games and shoddy graphics.

Re: Gears of War 3 is the hottest game on PS3!

@ garethxxgod 

I'm not going to deny that I enjoy ruffling the feathers of these 360 cheerleaders every once in awhile. Watching people fall all over themselves in a fit of nerd rage is amsuing to me. And these 360 fangirls are such an easy target because owning a console with hardly any exclusive games has severely lowered their self - esteem, making them more prone to hilarious criticism. 

So, to summarize, I don't hate the 360. I just hate 360 fangirls and enjoy winding them up. 

As far as Uncharted goes, I think the facts speak for themselves. Uncharted 2 won pretty much every award imaginable (GOTY, Best Graphics, Best Original Score, Best Story, ETC). Uncharted and Gears are similar in genre but separated by success. Compared to Gears, Uncharted might as well be a next - gen game.

Re: David Cage: United States has problems with my games

Why Americans are stupid: 

1. American publishers say that their consumers are nothing more than gun - loving rednecks. 

2. David Cage says that this is wrong and DEFENDS American gamers. 

3. American gamers can't tell the difference between an insult and a compliment and so attack David Cage. 

I'm beginning to think that the guys from South Park got it right when they said at least a quarter of the country is retarded.

Re: GameStop: Consoles continue to be the 'gold standard'

PC gaming is the kiddy market, always has been, always will be. Why do you think the big franchises like Call Of Duty, Grand Theft Auto and Assassin's Creed sell 90% of their copies on the consoles? 

PC gaming will never catch console gaming because PC users don't buy games. Full stop.

Re: Sony's claims of good developer relations are 'laughable'

I see a lot of whiny little 360 retards in here. I guess they must have gotten bored of Gears Of Bore 3 already. 

Clearly developers enjoy working with Sony more because it's Sony developers like Naughty Dog that make the best games. No 360 exclusive has reached Uncharted 2 level of quality and probably never will because developers don't enjoy working on shoddy hardware with last - gen graphics. 

Oh yeah and Sofik88, stop being such a fucking inbred moron. I always see you posting these ridiculous "Confirmed reports" on Sony and when people ask you to back it up with links you make up some bullcrap excuse and try to change the subject. Do you have a mental health problem that requires you to make a retard out of yourself a certain number of times a day? Like OCD? I understand you have nothing better to do with your life since the POS 360 doesn't have any exclusive games worth playing to keep you entertained but surely you can find a better use of your time than trying to challenege for the "Biggest Douche In The Universe" award.

Re: PSN down for 'maintenance' for third time in four days

@ Jimmyx - are you completely retarded? How is the PSN going down for maintenance going to convince gamers to buy multiplatform games for a POS console with overpriced online, terrible graphics, a wonky controller and buggy hardware??? 

@ JohnGrisham - if you're stupid enough to pay for a lackluster service from Microsoft when both Sony and Nintendo offer a BETTER serivce for FREE then I think you're the one who doesn't have a single fucking clue when it comes to online.

Re: GameStop: Consoles continue to be the 'gold standard'

@ sewerracoon 

I can't tell if you're just an uneducated dimwit or a PC cheerleader. If you are disagreeing with my statement that games ALWAYS sell more copies on the consoles then you are quite clearly a bit stupid and I would ask you to either provide some facts that prove me wrong or keep quiet. We don't need stupid children trying to hold a debate when the grown - ups are talking.

Re: Gears of War 3 sells 3 million copies in first week

In all seriousness though. Gears 3 has sold 3 million copies so that takes the total 360 exclusive game sales for 2011 to a whopping...3 million. LOL, pathetic. It's taken the last - gen 360 10 months to do something that the PS3 did in 3 months, no surprises there. 

What bewilders me is that there are some 360 fangirls on here that are actually impressed. You're impressed that the first 360 exclusive of the year took nearly 10 months to come out and still got reviewed like an unpolished turd??? Oh dear. I guess if you own a lesser console you obviously have lesser standards.

Re: David Cage: United States has problems with my games

@ Jimmyx 

You are America? Really? I guess that would explain your lack of a proper education, at least. Anyone who would choose a bad - graphics pile of junk like Gears Of Bore over a BAFTA winning game like Heavy Rain is certainly mentally inadequate.

Re: Europe getting Batman: Arkham City Xbox 360 bundle

@ Jimmyx - a weak response after I just tore through your entire debate. 

@ DeadnBuried - stop acting like a bloody retard. Gears 3 hits a 91 and you act like it's the best game ever? 91 might be good by 360 standards but it's NOT EVEN CLOSE to what Microsoft and Cliffy b were expecting. Why do you think Cliffy b got into a major - league hissy fit when he saw some people giving it an 8/10? Becuase both Microsoft and Epic were counting on this game hitting at least a 96. 

Gears 3 was supposed to be Microsoft's last stand. They wanted, so desperately, to show that 360 exclusives can match quality with the likes of Uncharted 2 and when it failed miserably they threw their temper - tantrums. Maybe you should do a little research on the gaming industry and stop making yourself sound like a gormless fuckhead, if 91 was a critical success then why did Cliffy b get so mad about it? Why did he act like the victim of a giant conspiracy, if 91 is so acceptable? 

Like I said, a 91 might be good by 360 standards but it's not in the same league as the games it wants to compete with.

Re: PC vs Console Gaming infographic: PC is making a comeback

LOl, I see the unwashed masses of the PC nerd race are here once again desperately clinging to falsefied graph charts to try and convince themselves that they haven't just put together a $5000 paperweight. 

Seems to me that if the PC peasants spent half as much time playing games as they did talking bollocks perhaps the PC would account for more than 10% of multi - platform game sales. Then again...you spend that much money putting together a stupidly expensive web browser I guess you wouldn't have any left to buy games for it...ROFL. 

PC gaming is a joke, most of the games worth playing this generation aren't even available for it, or come out for it months after the console release and the few games that DO make it to the PC don't sell because those idiots are too busy raiding on World Of Warcraft with their dermatologically challenged friends. 

I love Age Of Empires and FIFA Manager as much as anybody but those are the only games I play on the PC and if I could get them for the consoles I would. 

Re: PC vs Console Gaming infographic: PC is making a comeback

@ TheNephilym - take a look at the past 3 GOTY winners. GTA: IV - came to PC long after consoles. Uncharted 2 - not on PC and never will be. Red Dead Redemption - coming to PC LONG after consoles. There's other huge games that come to PC long after the consoles as well, such as Assassin's Creed, L.A. Noire and Batman: Arkham City. Final Fantasy doesn't appear on the PC at all except for the MMO's. And that's not even counting a huge number of excluives such as God Of War, Demon's Souls, Heavy Rain, Gran Turismo, LittleBigPlanet, Infamous, Yakuza, etc. 

@ Scuffles - a weak response after i've already proven what a moron you and your ignorant PC cheerleading pansies are. I notice you were unable to try and argue any of my points regarding game sales or games usually releasing on consoles first. But that makes sense, I never expected a PC troll to show any signs of research regarding the games industry. 

@ Gene Eric - are you mildly retarded? You accuse me of trolling but the only time you ever post a comment is when you're insulting somebody else, you never have anything to say about the discussion at hand, you just want to flame people. Get a life.

I think it's apt to end the roll on "You just want to flame people. Get a life." hey physician; fancy having a go healing thyself?

I'm sure a lot of people are asking who would win in a fight out of jimmyx and DNA619; I've come to the conclusion that jimmyx and DNA619 are one schizophrenic man. The fight would go similarly to the scene near the end of Fight Club where Tyler Durden fights himself.

And now, some final words from BlackMeat, who got himself banned. Here was his tamer material [thanks to mrandydixon for holding on to this]:

Comments by BlackMeat


Re: A bunch of Dragon Quest X info has rolled in

Why can't we all just get on our webcams and be sweetly sweet with each other? 

I love being a sweet gay black man.

Re: A bunch of Dragon Quest X info has rolled in

I totally embrace my job sucking Indian cocks because I am a sweetly sweet, sweet gay black man.

Re: The House of the Dead on PS3 may make your eyes hate you

I could go for some sweaty Mexican assholes right about now. 

I'm gay. I'm black. I'm sweet. I'm a sweet gay black man.

Re: Shank returns in Shank 2, shanking very likely

IME SPEERRRMMINNNGGG 

I'm such a sweet gay black man.

Re: Bethesda details Skyrim's award-winning voice cast

Do me sweetly in the butt. 

Sweet. Gay. Black. Yep, I'm a sweet gay black man.

 

There's a helicopter coming... three days from now, it's my ride. I have a feeling you'll show up again next week.

Adventures of Shuggy dev talks development ups and downs

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 04:00 AM PDT

Adventures of Shuggy dev talks development ups and downs screenshot

The Adventures of Shuggy, released to the wilds of Xbox Live Arcade this past summer, was fairly well received. Our own Jordan Devore praised it, specifically noting the sheer amount of content, variety, and co-op. Yet it didn't perform well, even by XBLA standards. This could be due to any number of factors, but developer David Johnston (of Smudged Cat Games) has shared his thoughts on the game's development successes and failures. 

To the positive, Johnston is proud of a handful of achievements. The overall process of creating a multitude of game mechanics (including his signature time traveling) then systematically whittling down what doesn't quite work is something that went quite well. Rather than stick with his initial Wario Ware approach, he opted for a more focused game after noticing that some things were just more fun than others. The level structure with a choice of what level to take on next rather than follow a set progression, is generally a high-point in Shuggy talk. 

While the development proper went fairly well, though long and arduous, Johnston feels the issues lie primarily with the publisher. He blames himself for trying to do too much at once, but the impact of delays and marketing choices is clear. 

Over the title's 4 year development, Shuggy's publishing fate was left to the hands of those who didn't share Johnston's connection to the project. In the beginning, he'd hoped to earn a top spot in Microsoft's Dream Build Play competition. Failing that, a deal was struck with Sierra. Sierra was thinned out, and Shuggy was dropped, after Vivendi was purchased by Activision. Eventually Valcon games signed on and provided the funding to complete the project. Throughout this, it seems decisions were made that did little to help the game. 

One obvious issue is in Shuggy's marketing. Primarily, there was none. No one knew the game existed short of word-of-mouth. While Johnston concedes that the target audience was missed due to a disconnect between gameplay and visual design, a portion of fault also lies with the physical marketing, or lack there of. 

Valcon didn't want me to contact any media directly, as this would be duplicating their efforts, so I left the publicity in their hands. It took ages for the official press release about the game to appear, because apparently Valcon was waiting on it being approved by Microsoft. 

Also hampered by Shuggy's publisher roulette, was the trial. Under Sierra, Johnston believes that the title had eventually been given an acceptable demo that would have been successful in driving sales. After jumping to Valcon, however, that trial was swapped for the one now live in the Marketplace.

This isn't an altogether unique tale; horror stories of developer/publisher relationships are all-too-common in this industry. That doesn't stop this one from being so disheartening. A game that is so widely praised, hampered by development and production difficulties. It's a bit of a long read, but Johnston's full write-up is well worth it. 

Postmortem: Smudged Cat Games' The Adventures Of Shuggy [Gamasutra]

Be part of Smithsonian's 'Art of Video Games' Credits

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 03:00 AM PDT

Be part of Smithsonian's 'Art of Video Games' Credits screenshot

The Smithsonian is gearing up for their "Art of Video Games" exhibit which will feature images, concept art, sketches, and footage from 80 games.

The games have been judged and voted, the art has been chosen, and all that's left is solidifying donors for the exhibit before its grand opening on March 16th next year. For the low price of $10 you can put yourself (or a silly name) in the exhibit's credits, which will appear both online and in the museum. But get this: the more you donate, the bigger your name will appear. In addition, every month a random winner will be chosen from the list of donors to receive a ThinkGeek gift until the exhibit ends in September 2012. Neat, huh?

As of yet there hasn't been a group donation. However, it looks like there are a few interesting names to be seen on the wall. I'm actually a bit surprised nobody's donated in the name of Cave Johnson yet.

"For many of you, I realized $60 is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on, I don't know - Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?"

Saints Row: The Third PC is NOT scheduled for delay

Posted: 01 Oct 2011 04:30 PM PDT

Saints Row: The Third PC is NOT scheduled for delay screenshot

On September the 30th, THQ and Volition confirmed that the PC version of Saints Row: The Third is scheduled to release when they said it would. It's wonderful to hear that even PC enthusiasts will not have to wait any longer than promised to get their hands on what looks to be a magical package of wonder, fun, and kicks to the crotch. Other people's crotches obviously.

The PC version of Saints Row 2 was a horribly optimized port of the amazingly fun console version, and I would personally rather see a delay for a much smoother PC release. Hopefully, the fact that the PC version of The Third is being developed in-house at Volition means history won't repeat itself, and it's also a good sign that it'll be powered by Steam.

The game is still slated for November 15th, exactly as promised. Full details about the PC version will be available in the near future on the official website, including recommended specifications and yet unnamed PC-only features.

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